Code of Conduct for Shows & P.R. Work

Code of Conduct for Shows & PR WorkWith the season for Game Fairs and PR displays now drawing to a close for us, my daughter, Anna, and I have breathed a sigh of relief and decided to draw up a semi-formal code of conduct of behaviour for next year's appearances in order to minimise damage to sanity:-

We do most solemnly swear that:

  • We shall display great patience whilst explaining for the 1000th time that the animals surrounding us are ferrets, not rats, cats, voles, moles, monkeys, kangaroos or any other daft identification in spite of the sign FERRETS printed in two foot high letters above the pen.

  • We shall tolerate being regarded as peculiar, even by those sporting anoraks, bobble hats and carrying notebooks and clipboards.

  • We shall not strangle children.

  • We shall not feel offended when people assume that it is our partner/father/son/brother who know about ferrets simply because they are male, and that we are only the Chief Pooper Scoopers.

  • We shall, without complaint, endure repeated accounts of that highly amusing story of the TV personality with a ferret on his finger (not even murmuring 'that was 20 years ago, isn't madam dating herself?).

  • We shall refrain from comment when told the life story of a woman who claims she was attacked by a ten foot ferret as an infant, thus leading to her nervous debilitation and acne in later life.

  • We shall not permit our ferrets the indignity of being photographed on someone's head or in their pockets.

  • In the undesirable event of ferrets being photographed on heads or in pockets, we shall promptly return all spectacles, hearing aids, false teeth, cameras, wallets and other valuables seized by the ferrets and stashed in their exercise tubes.

  • We shall still not strangle children (nor administer lethal injection) Nor shall we amuse ourselves by telling them the logical ending to their favourite story of the Flopsy Bunnies.

  • We shall not enter into confrontation with members of the Peter Rabbit Appreciation Trust (there's a rather unfortunate acronym there!).

  • We do hereby solemnly promise to conduct ourselves in a manner befitting NFWS members.

Just let one more man mention trousers , and I swear we'll personally take his measurements and announce them over the show tannoy.

Happy non-show season, folks!

June & Anna McNicholas

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